As I have traveled deeper into my inner landscape—the subconscious, creative space, as urged by my dragon—I have noticed subtle shifts within myself.

I am allowing more time and space as I move through my days, with less urgency to complete each task. I am gradually moving away from rigid goals and expectations, allowing things to unfold on their own terms. More often, I find myself taking a step back and observing events from a greater distance.

All of these subtle changes have brought with them a slightly lower level of anxious energy.

I have also begun to recognize some of the patterns in my default responses to situations. This awareness gives me the opportunity to observe myself more objectively, and to consider perspectives beyond my own.

At the same time, I have noticed how challenging it can be to step outside the grooves of these deeply repeated patterns. I have come to understand that this, too, is simply part of the journey.

Meanwhile, the right side of my chest began to stir, asking for attention in its own way. It seemed to remind me of the journey we have traveled together so far—a journey shaped by will, discipline, logic, and determination.

As I meditated, I acknowledged the stirring and spent time with it.

This morning, the feeling became as strong as ocean waves, one after another, rising and coming through. It carried an emotion connected to efforts that had gone unnoticed, unrecognized, unappreciated.

I sat with my right side, breathing in and out, circulating the light, circulating my attention. For a period of time, I simply stayed with it.

Then images from the past began to surface—from different stages of my life:

• Being the class secretary in elementary school.
• Enjoying volumes of philosophy books in high school.
• The long journey my kids and I had together since they were very young.  Just the three of us…
• The struggle I went through during the 2008 financial crisis to ensure the survival of my bank.

And on and on they came, images flowing like torrents, reminding me of all that my mind has done in the past.

Reminding me: Please do not forget all that we have accomplished.

Through strong will and logic, despite overwhelming emotions at times, we endured and moved through the challenges that life placed along the way. And all the blessings we enjoyed.

I sat there, breathing, listening, seeing.

“I appreciate all that you have done for me,” I said to my mind, where so much turbulence and foreboding force had remained. There is so much of the past residing in there.

I can hear it. I can see it. I can recognize all that you have done with me and for me. I could not be where I am today without your strength.

I am older now. I have experienced much of life. The discipline, the pursuit of goals, the projection of the future, the judgment of everything around me through certain measures and standards—I appreciate all of those experiences. They have shaped me and brought me here.

But now, I would like to embark on a new journey: one where I can become more of my true nature, or perhaps discover what my true nature truly is.

I want to linger longer in spaces of blissfulness, without always being pulled back and planted in perceived reality.

I want to have the ability to appreciate things in their true essence and to remain with them for a little while longer.

I want to be able to say to myself, “It’s okay. I can do this project another day,” without feeling lazy or tardy.

I want to allow myself to simply sip tea, sitting in the garden, and be content with all that is in and around my life—without a motor constantly running inside me, driving me forward and demanding a day’s worth of productivity.

I want to discover what life is about beyond measurable milestones.

I want to learn to see from different perspectives, through different dimensions.

I want to feel love. To live freely, without inhibition.

And at the same time, to abide by my own nature. To abide by the Tao.

To remain connected with the earth, the air, the water, the trees, the rocks, the mountains.

They are all natural elements, expressions of natural energy. I am merely one of them.

I want to learn to live simply, in the present moment.

Sometimes in solitude. Sometimes with others—in connection, in love.

To stay with the flow.

My dear mind, you have always helped me reach the goals I have set before myself. Now, please help me with this, too.

We can get there together.

We can learn from the subconscious mind, whatever it is willing to bring to the surface.

We can mix, melt, and integrate, while still retaining everything we have learned and accomplished. Our journey will never be forgotten. It will simply continue forward, opening into new exploration.

Would you do that together with me?

Her answer is yet to be determined.

But I trust that throughout my journey on earth, there will always be a balance between my subconscious and conscious minds; between my own essence, the spirit deep within me, and my conscious, goal-oriented, logical mind.

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”
— Albert Einstein

“The spirit of this time is ungodly, the spirit of the depths is ungodly, balance is godly.”
— The Red Book, C. G. Jung